Silva Arzunyan ACCESS Coordinator: Hi everybody.
Welcome, we're going to have an amazing show. Today we are waiting for everyone to login so please be patient and we will start soon
*Dog Barks* My apologies.
I have audience members at home too who are really excited about the show as you could hear.
First off, I really want to thank everybody who helped put this together. We have an amazing instructional technologist. He is the wizard behind the curtain. Michael Ashton, thank you so much, Michael.
He really just makes technology look like it's really easy. And we do have captioning tonight if you're requiring captioning. Please click down below, there's an option for you to have closed captioning during the show.
We have a wonderful program. We're going to begin with our improv class and then I'll say a few words about the Access Program here at Moorpark college.
And then we will have tonight's professional comedian group, comedians with disabilities. So it's going to be a really fun evening. I hope this falls right between,
you know, the end of your work day or your, your courses, your classes, and then right before dinner, so that you can have that debrief moment. That moment of having a good time.
Oh, it is...that number of participants keeps going up so.
It's wonderful. Lots of people logging in.
Got 60 some attendance tonight. So imagine if you're at a comedy club, what a full room that would be.
We will this will be interactive, just so you know. We will have the chat option open because for the first
portion of the show, when we have the improv group, the students will be asking you questions. They'll be asking you like
where is the scene happening? What's the relationship of the people in the scene? And they're going to look to you to let them know what those scenarios are going to be, and they will act out what suggestions you put.
And then at the end of the show, there will be a Q and A with the professional comedy group so chat will be open then too. You are welcome to ask them questions. We want this to be a very interactive webinar.
70 participants. This is exciting.
So this came about because I really wanted to recognize the the 30th birthday of the ADA. The ADA turned
30 years old on July 26th. Yeah! Woo.
So it was signed in July 26, 1990. And if you're not familiar and it's the Americans with Disabilities Act,
it is a civil rights protection to individuals with disabilities, similar to those provided to individuals on the basis of race, color, sex, national origin,
age, and religion. And it's such a very important part of our country's history and I'm grateful to be working in the program that I am and,
you know, Covid came around and so it was very difficult for me to throw the birthday party. I wanted to throw it on campus, but physically we get to invite a lot more people and we get to have an opportunity to laugh together during a time I think we could really use some laughter. So
without further ado, I'm going to introduce you to our very talented and improv instructor. And if you really like what you see, which I'm sure you will, you can sign up for improv comedy courses. That's
under theater M14 A, B, C, and D. So there's four levels you could choose from with our instructor Aubrey Saverino. Welcome Aubrey
Aubrey Saverino, IMPROV Instructor: Hi. Thank you Silva. Thank you so much for having us. We're really excited to be here and open for your incredible comedians.
So as Silva said I'm Aubrey Saverino and I am a theater instructor at Moorpark college. I teach acting 1 and improv classes.
And just like everybody our classes went online obviously for the pandemic, which
required some creativity for our performance classes, but they've actually been going really well. We've been having a lot of fun
this semester and we're going to be back doing it again next semester,. The theater is offering tons of online courses so, come join us. We would love to have you.
We are going to do some short form games for you. Some of our students from our improv class are here tonight. In our improv class we study both short form and long form and I will do a few short form games for you.
And the good news is for improv, you don't have to have any experience to take a class.
So some of our folks have just started taking improv this semester. But you can also take improv up to four times,
so we also have some folks who are returnees and they've taken improv a few times before. So it's great, we have all levels of experience participating today.
Which is really exciting! So, just making sure I'm not missing anything else but we are so excited. Yes, as Silva said,
what we really need from you is we will need suggestions from you in the chat. Things of like, we will need categories from you. We will need locations, we will need relationships. Our students will ask those for you...
to get those from you, so start thinking of some suggestions now, and please put those in the chat. That will help the students do their improv from your suggestions.
Right, so I think it's time, without further ado, I would love to introduce the fabulous improviser from the Moorpark college improv class. So
come on down, everybody, we have Ethan! Hello, Ethan. We have Jade. Hi, Jade. We have Levi. Hey Levi. We've got Jonah. Jonah's up.
And we've got grace. Hello, Grace. Come join us. Hello, hello. And we've got Kai and Wade. Hello, everybody. So this is our improv crew and I'm going to hand this over to Ethan, who is going to introduce our first game. So take it away, Ethan
Ethan Pante: Alright, thanks. So the first game we are going to be playing is ru ru ru. It's essentially a category game. What we want you as the audience to do right now is throw out suggestions of categories. Things like types of ice cream flavors,
types of animals, movie titles, you know, all that kind of stuff. And what our job is to do is to list anything that isn't in that category. Which the challenge is that
when we ask you to not think of a pink elephant, you're going to think of a pink elephant. So,
essentially what will happen is that we're going to each take a turn at saying that in a really fast paced way.
And then if one of us either takes too long or says something in that category, then we're out. and then at that point, the person who is out will pick a category that you have selected or not selected. But throw them into the chat right now.
Alright, I assume everyone's ready. Make sure you're unmuted, so we don't get that situation again, and I will pick a
category from the chat.
Hmm.
All right, let's go with types of pizzas. All right. And I'll go first. Grass
Kai Nuki: Looks like I'm out there. Aubrey: *Laughing*
Aubrey: Alright Kai before you go give us a category. Kai pick a category from the audience. Go, go, go, you got it.
Ethan: Wasn't muted.
Aubrey: And let's do
A
Kai: Animals. Aubrey: Animals. All right, animals, y'all. Here you go.
Wade Varble: Fifty shades of disappointment.
Jade Morrisey: Wriggle rats.
Levi Flores: Narutu esmaki
Jonah Lopez: Bob Saget
Grace Nash: Beanie Babies
Ethan: Master of the Universe, the fanfiction that inspired 50 shades of grey. Wade: The Rolling Stones.
Jade: Barsleys
Aubrey: Levi! Levi's out, alright.
Levi, pick one for us.
Levi: I'm gonna go with salad toppings.
Aubrey: Alright, salad toppings. Things you put on your salad.
Jonah: The Man in the Mirror.
Grace: Poison Ethan: Jackson Pollock.
Wade: looks sad.
Jonah: Paprika
Grace: Vincent Van gogh
Jonah: I'm out. Ethan: No, Jade had got out.
Aubrey: Alright. So Jonah, go ahead and pick a category for us. What are we doing?
Jonah: Superheroes. Aubrey: Super heroes, we are down to. All right. Ethan and Wade and Grace are our remaining folks. So superheroes, off, off you go.
That is Grace, go!
Grace: Pen.
Ethan: Miranda Cosgrove's performance as Carly in ICarly Wade: Access.
Grace: Feet
Ethan: Dan Snyder. Wade: Zoom.
Grace: Danny DeVito.
Ethan: Toenails. Wade: Jim Morrison.
Grace: My left shoe.
Ethan: Someone is outside my house right now.
Grace: Oh, I see him too
Ethan: They really are knocking on that door.
Wade: Loudly
Grace: I can hear it.
Ethan: Oh, he's decided to break the door down. Wade: He's calling me
Grace: Right in front of my salad.
Ethan: And he's right here.
Wade: knocking down the door.
Grace: Daddy's. Ethan: And I'm now shaking his hand. Wade: I'm out now.
Grace: Why?
Aubrey: All right. And our last category. Ethan and grace. We got one right from John Loprieno. How about things you say at church. Things you say at church and take it away. This is for the win. Ethan versus Grace and go ahead Grace.
Grace: I
Ethan: God I just love premarital sex.
Grace: Isn't it the best?
Ethan: Isn't Satan the one who always does it though?
Grace: He is a daddy.
Ethan: He is my daddy, your daddy, our daddy.
Grace: Hell.
Ethan: Fuck.
Grace: Shit. Ethan: Damn.
Grace: Wow that car's going really fast!
Ethan: Oh, wow. Yeah, it's crashing into the church.
Grace: That's a lot of dead people.
Ethan: All those souls going straight to hell because they were here at church.
Grace: Right on a Tuesday.
Ethan: Isn't it Wednesday?
Grace: I thought it was Friday.
Ethan: No, it's a Saturday.
Grace: But what about Monday?
Ethan: Well, we don't celebrate on Sunday, at the very least, we all know that.
Grace: Yeah, that's his day.
Ethan: That's Satan's day?
Grace: No, I don't want to say his name.
Ethan: The Flying Spaghetti Monster, you mean?
Grace: Yes.
Ethan: No.
Aubrey: Alright, we're calling this a draw, y'all. Alright.
Thank you, John Loprieno. You know, you you offer that up. You never know what we're gonna get here at improv. So there you go. That is our first game ru ru ru. To introduce our next game, questions, we have Jade. Jade, take it away, introduce this next game for us, will you.
Jade: Hey very cool cats and kittens. Um, this next game is called questions. So first we're going to ask the audience for a location. It could be any sort of location.
Then two of us are going to create an entire scene only asking questions. No statements. If we say any statements we're out and somebody will replace us.
So,
Going to take some suggestions as they come in here.
All right, we're gonna do the doctor's office. So...
Could you hand me the scalpel?
Jonah: Which scalpel are you looking at?
Jade: Isn't it the silver one?
Jonah: There's a sil....
Is it the silver one or the gold one?
Jade: It's sharp
Jonah: Which one, the dull one?
Jade: Can you test it?
Jonah: Is the patient awake?
Aubrey: Alright. Next up, go.
Ethan: can you see if I have cancer?
Jonah: Do you have cancer?
Ethan: That isn't what I'm asking you.
Jonah: Who's the doctor here?
Ethan: Aren't you the doctor?
Jonah: Which doctor are you looking for?
Ethan: Aren't you Dr. Facilier from Princess and the Frog?
Jonah: Which Princess and the Frog. The sequel or the prequel?
Ethan: Oh I thought there was only one movie. Jonah: I'm out.
Aubrey: Great, nice job. Jonah, next up.
Levi: Do you have any band aids?
Ethan: Do you have any wounds? Levi: Maybe?
Wade: Are you a doctor or do you just play one on TV?
Ethan: Are you saying that I'm an actor? Wade: I'm out.
Aubrey: Alright. Next up. Go for it.
Grace: Can I get one Typhoid Mary?
Ethan: Do you think this is a bar?
Grace: Is that even a question?
Ethan: Are you asking me to get a Typhoid Mary a drink?
Grace: Am I asking for anything else?
Ethan: Are you asking for more than what I could provide for you?
Grace: Can I just get my drink?
Ethan: Do you want it virgin or not?
Grace: Can I get it with alcohol?
Ethan: So you want...do you want it non virgin?
Grace: Can I have it non virgin!?
Ethan: You got it.
Aubrey: Alright, Kai up next.
Kai: That's my name umm.
So, why are you here at this hospital? Grace: Can't you see?
Kai: Can't I? Grace: Are you blind?
Kai: Aren't you the doctor?
Grace: Am I the doctor?
Kai: How should I know?
Grace: How should you know?
Kai: I feel like this is the kind of thing that the doctor should be telling me?
That wasn't a question.
Aubrey: That was not a question!
That's it, that's it for questions. Everybody's gone for questions. So up next.
Thank you all. Up next is half life and Kai I believe you are introducing half life for us. Yes?
Kai: Yes.
Aubrey: So, take it away Kai.
Kai: So half life is an improv game where there are two people, and they have a scene, but it has to be done in under 30 minutes so we will be taking suggestions on the location and the relation of the people.
30 seconds 30 seconds I meant seconds, I meant sec...
Aubrey: You got it, kai.
Kai: And then it has to be halved to 15 seconds. Then they do it again afterwards and it has to become 15 seconds and they do it again and it's five seconds.
And you have to accomplish the same like, narrative, you have to get the same point across
in lesser and less amount of time.
Aubrey: Awesome Kai. Thank you. Alright, so we got to pick a location here for our scene. Yes, we'll start with 30 seconds.
I'll go ahead and pick one for us. We're going to do from the chat. Taking Alex's suggestion of Disneyland. Here we go. And hold on I'm gonna get my timer ready to go, and the clock starts now.
Wade: Can we go on the Indiana Jones ride first? I mean, I'm wearing the hat and everything.
Jonah: John I want to go to Space Mountain.
Wade: Well, we can do that later, Jim. We can go to Indiana Jones first.
Jonah: Okay, what's uh what's Tinkerbell doing over there? Is she alright? She looks like she's throwing up.
Wade: She is?
Jonah: Yeah, she's over there in the gutter. Oh. Oh my goodness.
Wade: I hope she wasn't... Jonah: Are you alright? What, what's going on here. Wade: You know, drinking last night.
Aubrey: Alright. That is our 30 seconds. So now we're going to do that same scene for Tinkerbell in 15 seconds. So let me get my timer ready. Here we go, same scene. Now we only have 15 seconds to do it. Ready and go.
Wade: Can we go to Indiana Jones first? I'm wearing the hat and the jacket. I'm just so excited!
Jonah: Yeah, let's go after Space Mountain. But, uh, I think something's wrong with Tinkerbell. She's kind of throwing up over here in the corner. Wade: Oh my god.
Do we need to take her to the hospital?
Jonah: I don't know. It's not...she smells like whiskey and...
Aubrey: Alright, Tinker Bell's been drinking some whiskey. OK, and now we are going to do that same scene. Oh my gosh. Here we go, same scene, but in five seconds. Ready, set, go.
Wade: Oh my god, I'm wearing the hat and the leather jacket. Can we go on Indiana Jones first?
Jonah: Yeah, sure. But Tinkerbell, I think she's hung over, she's throwing up over here, what's going on?
Wade: She must have been hanging out with Pirates, Pirates of the Carribean.
Aubrey: Alright, timer. I got it. Alright. There we go. There it is. Our half life. Okay, um. We've got one more game for you, and that is our alphabet game and to introduce that game we are bringing Ethan back. Come on back Ethan And tell us what's up with alphabet game.
Ethan: Alright, so our next game is alphabet game. Essentially what we're going to do, well, going to ask for you guys to do is send a letter of the English alphabet into the chat and as well as a location. What we're going to do is create a scene only using...
going through the alphabet, starting from that letter. So one time start with an A, the next time we'll start with a B and then so on so forth until we reach back into that letter.
Of course, if we don't do that, then we get out and the next person will jump in to continue with their own sort of scene. So,
I see we have some locations and some letters coming in.
Alright, let's go with
Julie's suggestion of K, and my suggestion of being in a theater.
Right, and I believe Levi, you're up with me.
Aubrey: Yes, Levi, come on down here we go. We're starting with the letter K. So they have to make it all the way through the alphabet back to the letter K. If they cannot think of a letter, they are out and the next person steps in. So off we go.
Ethan: Kreno, well, what are you, what role are you auditioning for?
Levi: Well, Lorain. Damn it. That's a W. Aubrey: *Laughing* Great start, Levi!
Aubrey: Alright, next up, go!
Wade: Larry, what role are you auditioning for?
Ethan: Manny, I would say, I want to go for the supporting lead.
Wade: Realized I started with S. I'm out.
Aubrey: We don't study the alphabet in improv.
Alright, Grace. Off you go.
Grace: I forgot what letter we're on.
Ethan: N I believe.
Aubrey: N, take it away with N grace.
Grace: Now is the time for all auditions.
Ethan: Oh boy! I can't wait to audition! Thanks, Suzanne!
Grace: Perry, you know, I got you.
Ethan: Undoubtedly. I know you are always great at this process. Grace: Really?
Well, I do think you are.
Wait...
Grace: Xylophone needs more base!
Ethan: You know,
I don't think you need to be so harsh on them.
Grace: Zoinks you're right!
Ethan: Anyway, um should we start the auditioning process? I am your assistant director, after all.
Grace: Basically, take it away.
Ethan: Contrivedly that's not where I want that scene to go.
Aubrey: Made it so far, Ethan, so far.
So come on down. I think it's a...hi. Come on in. We are at...we're at B.
Kai: That's okay. Ah.
Bob should audition for this part, you know, I bet he'd be great.
Grace: Catherine would be better.
Kai: Do you think so? Grace: I'm out.
Aubrey: Okay, great. So come on down. Jonah, come on down and we are at E. Let's see if we can get to K.
Jonah: Eliza. Are you auditioning for the main part?
Kai: I'm out.
Aubrey: So I think that's Jade. Come on down. You got it, and we're at F.
Jade: For real, this isn't a Shakespeare production?
Jonah: Go somewhere else if you're looking for Shakespeare.
Jade: How can I find a Shakespeare production?
Jonah: I think there might be one, two doors down.
Jade: If I go over there. Will you come with me, I get a little nervous when I do auditions.
Jonah: Just because you asked, I will.
Jade: K.
Aubrey: There we go, we made it all the way to the end of the alphabet and back again. Thanks. Alright Improv team come on out. Take a bow.
There we are. Those are just a few of the short form games we play. And we also do some long form. We're going to have a show in a couple weeks on December 1st. We'll be sending out invites for that, so keep your eyes open.
They're going to do some short form and long form on that and we would love to have some folks in the audience, supporting these students. So thanks so much. Take a bow Kai, Jade, Ethan, Wade, Levi, Jonah, Grace.
Thank you all. Thank you so much to Silva and ACCESS for having us on here. We really, really appreciate it. And I am going to hand it over. Back to you, Silva.
Silva: Thank you, Professor Saverino.
Thank you, students!
That was
That was excellent. I believe this was your first zoom show so
thank you for participating with us today. Before we get on to the third part of the show, perhaps the second part of the comedy. I'm the I'm the...yeah.
Um, I threw myself off. Give me a second. I'd like to talk to you about the ACCESS program for a moment. The ACCESS Program
is a program at Moorpark college that is free to all students.
We are a service oriented program on campus to help students who have varying forms of disabilities. And they could be visible or invisible disabilities. So if you think of disabilities, quite often you think of
the, the icon you see often, you know, the blue and white with a wheelchair on it, but we have students that have varying forms of disabilities that you might not see
and will not look like the icon. So we have students who have medical conditions which could be,
you know, anything from cancer to need for dialysis or different disorders. We also have students who have mental health care
concerns that interfere with their education. Especially now with Covid, you know, there's just so much anxiety around it.
We serve students who are on the autism spectrum, have ADHD. We have a wonderful team, and on our team we have learning disabilities specialists,
and they have a lot of information and knowledge on learning disabilities and so students who have different forms of learning disabilities, you know, such as dyscalculia or dyslexia,
we have services for them. We also do free learning disability assessments for students who might have a learning disability but never had it
assessed or evaluated. So if you are a student who wants to join the program or is interested, please reach out to us. We are still available, even though the campus is physically closed.
We are available online. And we are providing providing services remotely. And within our district, we have two Sister colleges. We have Ventura college and we have Oxnard college.
While we use the term ACCESS here at Moorpark college you would find them at Oxnard and Ventura under EAC. So statewide, the name is disabled student services.
DSPS disabled students programs and services. Basically we are all here to make sure that all students have equal access to education.
And it could be a temporary disability. It could be something that you never really reached out for help for before.
Just let us know. It's a confidential program. We don't share your information with anybody you don't want us to share it with.
We're here to help and we want to make sure that all of our students have the same opportunity to learn.
And if you didn't know, about 10% of the college is registered with our program. So you're not going to be alone. You know no one's gonna put you out and I really love our college.
I haven't noticed anybody, you know, treat the students with disabilities any more different than everybody else. So,
you will find that your faculty, your instructors, your professors, everyone's going to be very, very helpful and inclusive, and we have great things in the community office that could help.
If you've ever met Matt Spinneberg he's a cool technician in our office, a specialist. He makes alternate media. So he can make
books into Braille, he can make them into forms that read to you online on the computer. You know you, there's a lot of ways of learning and we want to make sure that we unlock that for you. And we give you that opportunity.
So thank you for that moment to share about our program. I'm very proud of it. And next we have the comedians with disabilities. I'm very excited that they're here with us. It's a professional group and I will leave it to Nina G to introduce everybody. Nina on to you please.
Nina G.: Thank you so much. Everyone give Silva
a round of applause.
We can't see you, but we can read you. So please, in the chat. We really appreciate all of your lol and your agreements, your disagreement, your boo's, whatever. Thank you.
Suzanne gets it to the clap, clap, clap. So thank you everybody. We really appreciate your participation in this and and being here.
I out of all out of all of the colleges in the world. Moorpark was the one that I wanted to get to. Because you guys have a zoo.
You guys have a zoo keeping major and you have a zoo and I've seen the videos on it and like I've seen students teaching birds, how to talk and like, and I know that probably everybody the entire campus, which, with the exception of
a couple of bio
teachers are not on campus and the students aren't on campus but I assume that we still got to feed
the birds and whatever other animals. I saw birds, lions, and tigers. So they have lions and tigers. Someone's got to take care of the lions
and tigers. When we had...when the pandemic first happened there was a rumor here I am joining you from my kitchen in Oakland,
California. And there was a rumor that the Oakland Zoo accidentally let out a tiger. That was going through East Oakland, and it was terrifying. It wasn't true. So just a shout out to all of the Zookeeper
majors and I really, really, really do want to see your school.
So I hope to be there one day. Smelly porcupine has a lot of anxiety. I think we needed to hear that. I don't know what that means. I think that's code, but someone just said that.
Said that through the chat. That's exactly the kind of thing that we want to hear and see. So, my name is
Nina G. And in case you couldn't tell right there. I am a stand up comic who stutters, and I'm joined here with Michael beers and Mean Dave who are part of the Comedians with
Disabilities Act. And we perform at all kinds of colleges and love to talk about our own experiences and do it under the pretense of comedy and make you laugh, but also hopefully you learn a little bit about our
experiences too. I, myself, I am a product of a California Community College which what I say that I don't mean that I went there as a student, although I did, I did two, two and a half years at
the local Community College before I went on to UC
Berkeley. But when I say I am a product of a California Community College, that is because my parents met at Oaklands City College.
So they met at a community college and I am here because of this system, which I love, and I appreciate, and it kicked ass, so well you know it's a school. Um, so let's see. So let me tell you a little bit about the history of the
Comedians with
Disabilities Act. It was started by a guy who used a wheelchair and another guy joined, who was a little person and another one who was blind. And when I joined, I was the fourth one. When I joined, as a person who stutters and has dyslexia people told me that I shouldn't be in that
comedy troupe and because dyslexia and stuttering weren't real
disabilities, until I quoted them from the Americans with
Disabilities Act that says that a disability is a physical or mental impairment that substantially results in having to deal with assholes. So
I'm pretty sure that it qualifies.
And the thing about having a disability is as soon as someone needs to they suddenly have a PhD in the thing you have. Oh my god the advice, so much advice, things like for me, it's things like just slow down and breathe.
Yeah, because in the 40 years I've been stuttering I've never thought of that.
I've Never thought slowing down. And I guess I would, I guess I haven't been
breathing this entire time. But the advice always comes in two forms. Either I was watching Dr. Oz, you know, some crappy advice is going to come or I live right next to Berkeley
California. So very, very, very smart, intelligent people but they sometimes tell me advice and it comes in the form of I was listening to NPR. Oh my gosh. Oh, I was
Listening to National Public Radio is the sure sign that I am going to get advice from someone who just heard a segment and thinks they have a
Master's in it, so. And so that's okay. That's okay. You can get, get a pass.
Okay, but the advice always comes in really strange times in strange ways. I was once on a radio station and just talking about stuttering and comedy. Woman calls up, woman calls up and says,
I have a friend who stutters and she found true love.
And now she doesn't stutter anymore. Isn't that beautiful, isn't that wonderful isn't that the biggest bunch of Disney Princess BS you've ever heard. Oh my god, what happened.
Okay hold on just a second. I think
Okay. Sorry, I got kicked off of my own screen. I don't know what happened there. So, I'm sorry. I'm so glad it's you. The, um, it's a meeting...I did a show yesterday that was not on zoom that was on teams, teams sucks. Do not do a zoom on...I think when everybody got bombed
like, back in March, they're like Zoom is awful. It's terrible. No, no. You just didn't know how to use it right. Well, that's why we need someone like Michael to kick out the weirdos who come on and...
Like the ugliest thing I saw was a naked man who I shouldn't have been seeing. That's what happens when when you get Bombed like and that was the least ugly thing, actually. So, okay.
So, sorry about that. I got very concerned there. Okay, so I was talking about the bad advice. So I have a friend who stutters who's about 23 at the time, and he
was seeing a psychologist and the psychologist, and he was in therapy, not for the stutter and not for what the the therapist thought was his issue, which was that he was
A virgin. So my friend was a
Virgin and the psychologist tells him tells him that once he starts having sex that he's going to stop stuttering. And I was like, you know that some BS right he's, uh, we'll see. We'll see. I don't know,
I'll, I'll keep an open mind. But anyway yes, sex cures stuttering. That is what the psychologist thought. Now, you know, there's only 1% of us in the world. I'm sure we would have happened upon this here. Anyway, my friend, he started to date this girl.
And after a couple weeks I could tell that it was going to go somewhere, that it was getting serious. One Sunday morning. One Sunday morning. I got a text and the text read I-I-I still stutter.
Yeah that's right because he did it. And so I texted back. Keep trying. That's, that's exactly what happened there. Was the best text I ever got.
Okay, so I'm gonna, I wanted to share a little bit about about what stuttering is because a lot of people don't understand it. We're only 1% of the population. In women, of that 1%, if there's four people who stutter one's going to be a woman and the rest are men. So we are
outnumbered and a minority in a minority there. So stuttering is thought to be caused by a difference in the brain, on the left side. On the left side. This is the language side. All you people in psychology and in
anatomy may have heard about the temporal lobe and Broca's area. And Broca's area is the expressive part of the brain. Right next door is the muscles that you use when you speak.
And that is where we have a difference in our brain. So if we talk we stutter. But if we sing or if we use a funny voice, then we don't stutter because
that part of the brain is bypassed and that in language goes to the right side. So that's why you hear people who
are singers be completely fluent when they sing, but stutter when they talk. Also my favorite example of someone who stutters who manipulated their voice was the actress Marilyn Monroe.
Who, by the way, that's a fake name, as some of you know.
If you change your name and you stutter, why do you have a double M name!? Like that is hardest thing to say. I'm guessing she stuttered on season case. But nonetheless, nonetheless.
Um. She of course was an actress and she stuttered. And that's why she talked like this, because when Marilyn talked like this, she could switch
her speaking to the right side instead of the left side and then she was fluent. Now once I was talking to a guy and I was explaining
stuttering to him and because he started to explain it to me. So I explained it back to him, and I did that voice to which he said, oh, that's very sexy. Maybe you should talk like that all the time.
And I was like, no, that's cool. I think I'd rather stutter. And that is the end. What I hope you got out of that is that, um, we, we are okay the way we are.
And that is why it's so important to access ACCESS. That's funny. Access ACCESS for your accommodations. I know a lot of people who are like me who have dyslexia and to stutter say that it isn't
a disability, or they're past it, or they want to do it without, they don't want to use a crutch. I could go on and on and on. Use them! That is how I got to UC Berkeley. That's how I went on to
Grad school and I got my doctorate. That is because I used extra time on tests and I had, I still read. I still read *Kurzweil audio noises* on Kurzweil. I read at 350
words a minute on there. When I do it without I'm at 110 what words a minute. So it's an effective way to do your work. And talking about
accommodations, it's our first comic that we are going to have after me, is one of my favorite accommodations, because he reads all my stuff. He edits everything I do, and probably knows way too much about me because of that, my good friend mean Dave everybody. Please welcome Mean Dave!
Michael Beers: Yeah, Dave.
Mean Dave: Good to see you everybody. Just gonna start my timer here. How about another round of applause there from home and all that for Nina G everybody. And also I want to clarify something in the chat. Miguel,
I think the message Nina is trying to convey is that
if your cousin stutters give them time to let them finish, not to tell them to speak in a different voice, that's the overall
kind of moral of her act right there. And, you know, what can I say about Nina G. that wouldn't take her longer to say. That's what I always love to say and point out.
Anyways, one of my best friends. Definitely. I'm comedian mean Dave. It is just a nickname. It is short for meaningful David, so we can get that out of the way right away.
You know, I know the other names you may start calling me based up...What's up with the backgrounds, Wesley? I don't know. I really don't, man, I mean, they're just
It's just, you know, you really want to see what I what my room looks like. This is what my room looks like, man, it is the it is the bedroom of
a serial killer, alright, who goes to NA that's pretty much it. It's the bedroom serial killer goes to NA. That's why I chose a nice high end bathroom
to use as my background. Okay. Looks like a nicer place. Um, but yeah, as I pointed out right there, you saw there was a there's a little thing right there.
You may be wondering what is, what's his disability there. Look at this dude, you know, lack of hygiene or something? Well, I just took a shower clearly
it's not my disability. My disability, you probably wouldn't. I mean, well here's something you can probably tell looking at me.
I've done some drugs, I've drank some alcohol. And so much so that I had to stop, and in order to stop I had to get help to stop. And I am what they say is an addict or alcoholic in recovery.
I'm actually seven years clean and sober, which I'm very grateful for and, thank you, appreciate the support, because seriously from the bottom my heart, it has been a boring seven years. Alright.
But the bottom line is, is when I pointed out to Nina kind of how the addict brain works in and in kind of comparison to the dyslexic brain that she described to me. She did some research and found out
that addicts and alcoholics in recovery are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Isn't that really cool.
Well, you know it's pretty much. It's a disability of a mental illness.
Which is awesome. So now, what I do is I go standing in handicapped parking spots and tell people to go away and get out, get out of here. This is mine, mine now. I don't even drive anymore. I just stand there.
And the irony being that everybody thinks I'm high or drunk yelling at all the cars. So that's, you know, kind of a weird thing. And I'm also probably the only
disability that can walk into a bar and just start knocking over everybody's drinks and calling them ablest.
You know, it's, you know, not many other people can really do that. But I take a stand for disability. And that's how I go up there, you know, so, uh, but yeah, it's, it's something that I figured out the hard way, you know, basically, about seven years ago I got a second DUI. Second.
Pulled over I got pulled over with a point one eight alcohol level and got a DUI. I mean, personally, I feel if you get pulled over with a point one eight alcohol level and you get a DUI, you deserve some credit for pulling over successfully.
You know, I'm not, I don't encourage drunk driving by any means, but, and I'm not trying to brag, but I was driving pretty good with a point one eight, you know, I was just weaving inside the lines.
You know, like a kid in a coloring book. I was coloring all over the place. But I was inside the lines, you know.
I'm an artist on the road. That's what I told the officer when he pulled me over.
And but I'll be honest, I never got better customer service than I did from the California Highway Patrol on Highway 580 in Dublin, California.
I highly highly recommend them for any and all DUIs if anybody is in need of one, you know, five stars on Yelp for my DUI they treated me with first class
customer service, because they they arrested me and put me in the front seat of the squad car with no handcuffs on,
tight next to the shotgun. You know that's trust you know I'm one of the guys. They let me be super trooper, you know.
And then they were driving me into Santa Rita jail.
And then they're like, this guy's pretty cool, man, let's let's put on a little entertainment for him before he has this long night in jail and they got a little screen on their dashboard and they played me a short film.
And it was a real boring movie. Was just about a car that was weaving all over the freeway and I was watching it real closely and I said you know what officers, this looks like a guy who needs a DUI and the officer said that's you, asshole. And I was like, oh,
this movie got better. I didn't know I was in it.
So yeah, so that's that's basically when I came to the conclusion that with me drugs and alcohol is vicious cycle. You know, it starts with weed. What goes well with weed, some beer, I drink the beers I up the ante. What goes well with beer?
Cocaine. 35 days later, after a good healthy binge, what goes well with the weed, beer, and cocaine? A second, third, and fourth DUI at the exact same time because that's when the acid kicks in.
LSD. And it's the only way I can drive three cars in four different dimensions, 32 colors, 56 flavors into the Sky With Diamonds and still hit a cop.
You know, anywhere you go because cops don't look both ways before running green lights at 2:30am after a hard party on a Friday night.
That's why I did the cocaine. So I wouldn't fall asleep at the wheel when I was running my red light. Tried to be safe, look out for people on the road.
And that's why I dropped the acid. So I can synchronize my triple drunk vision back into one with the universe and make it home safely. Alright.
So point being, though, you know, one of the things I want to, I want to give a shout out to is, is my man Ethan over here, part of the improv troupe, because
one thing I noticed, and I'm sure nobody else noticed was his little improv nod to Dan Schneider. And I just want to say if you know that dude is that's a, that was, I was like, alright, I'm in good company with this show. Alright, so.
Point being a from that point aww whatever. Well, you know what's great is we're here on zoom having fun, you know it's it's wonderful to do a comedy show where I'm, again, I have not left my bedroom.
And a lot of comedians are not really on board with all the zoom stuff, which I don't really I don't mind. You know, they're like those zoom comedy shows those aren't real comedy shows and I beg to differ.
You know, because, you know, for years, people have had, you know, phone sex and, you know, Internet sex before.
And no one ever came barging into your room and was like hey, that's not real sex you're having right there. Don't get your hopes up. You know, it's like...
You know, so I just look at this as stand up comedy, the video game. And I embrace it completely. And it's the only show where I might get heckled by my landlord knocking on my door saying "hey you mind keeping your imaginary comedy show down.
You know, I'm trying to try and watch some Home Shopping Networks". So again, point being, one of the things, again I am an addict in recovery.
A lot of things, you know, one of the things that's great about it after doing it this long, is that when coronavirus hit,
not much changed in my life. I really am really at the mercy of things outside of my control pretty much all the time.
You know, and a lot of people have been telling comedians like, oh, this must be a great time for writing material. And I'm here to tell you no, it's not.
Because there's a new disaster every other week that people do not have a sense of humor about and
and you know, it's been the great unfriending of 2020 on social media, thanks to everything from politics to pop tarts.
Everybody's just throwing down the gauntlet, a line in the sand, and you know it's like if you like chocolate pop tarts unfriend me now.
You know and seriously though, if you do like chocolate pop tarts, and we're friends on Facebook, unfriend me because that stuff's disgusting.
I don't understand it, it's you know, I really don't understand the chocolate frosting.
But, um, but the point is, I've been trying to be more positive on social media because I used to be a lot more negative, you know, with my attitude and even that's not working. I made a post, not too long ago,
just saying, you know, hey, went to the grocery store today. Got my groceries in 20 minutes. Pretty cool.
And the first comment was my uncle who said, Oh, that must be nice. Did you wear your mask, like a little pussy. And I was like,
how did you know, Uncle? Yeah I did, I did wear my mask, you know, yeah, I got my groceries like a little pussy too. Paid for them, you know, like a little pussy. And, you know, went home made a nice little pussy dinner.
You know, and, and, you know, little dessert after that, and took a bath too!
Right after that a little bubble bath, you know, because I like my bubble baths. Now I'm a happy little pussy who's gonna go to sleep, clean and full and you sound like a, like an unhappy
little one and you should probably keep your mask on a little more uncle, so.
And, you know, and actually I used a stronger word, but I'm trying to clean it up after some of the some of the filthy words I was hearing from Nina. Well, actually I'm just joking around. You know, it's, I'm in a bathroom for Christ's sake. Point being too,
one of the things I never thought. The reason why I like having this bathroom background is because I never thought, you know, the coronavirus has done a lot of things.
Has made me appreciate more than ever the importance of a public restroom. Alright? Because ever since the shelter in place,
you can't just count on a public restroom wherever you go. You got to really plot ahead and plan your pees and your poos
when you leave the front door. And, you know, because I before you know just bathroom started opening up recently and now they might get shut down again if we do this other, this next shutdown.
And the last time I used a public restroom before recently. I remember I never thought I'd be nostalgic for it, but I remember it completely. It was in the middle of March.
And it was it was the weekend before the first shutdown and basically I was, I went to a safe way out here in a town called Sunnyvale. Walked in,
you know, everybody was scrambling for the for the, you know, for the toilet paper. I wasn't because I've got a cool head and I know the grocery store has never shut down, even in the shutdown, so I don't know why anybody's hoarding the toilet paper. But I go in there and go to use the urinal.
There's two urinals in there. And so I'm used one urinal and another dude comes walking and he's using the urinal next to me.
And if you're a dude, and if you've ever peed in a urinal next to some other dude peeing at a urinal. Or ladies, if you've ever used a she wee at a men's urinal next to another man peeing, you might know what this feels like. Sometimes if you're peeing next to somebody
and if you're not peeing an even stream, you might get a little paranoid. You know, if, like you're rolling up there, you're peeing and somebody you're not hearing any noise next to you.
Like what's going on over there or if you're the one who's rolling up and they're the one peeing and it's taking you a little while to get the fireman going into the fire,
you might be like, you know, it's just it's it could get awkward, but on this particular day, me and the dude, we were peeing just even streams. Everything was cool. No paranoia no competition, either. It was great.
But then after we were done, we kind of were done at the same time. And that's when we went to go wash our hands right afterwards.
And we both were washing our hands, but I couldn't help but notice he was washing his hands harder,
more aggressively, just really he had the sink on full blast. He was really pounding the soap dispenser, let me know. Just a lot of splashing.
And I was like, are you taking a bath over there. What are you doing, dude, and
I looked over and it was this young man who was just scared out of his mind just to look at me, and he kept glancing at me like I was going to do something.
And he was he was a young Asian dude. And this, this is important because I was trying to figure out why is this dude
being scared? You know what, what's the problem? And then it dawned on me. This was the first weekend that I remember Donald Trump referring to the coronavirus is the Chinese virus.
And I remember reading about some incidents in the news. So I was like, oh my god, this young man thinks I'm going to commit a hate crime.
I need to put them at ease. And so I just I hurried up finished washing my hands, dried my hands, and I turned into this young man and I had to think fast.
I just, I, I couldn't, I couldn't. You know, I just put both my hands on his shoulders, stopped him right there, looked him in his eyes, thought of the scene in goodwill hunting, and just said, it's not your fault.
It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Said it like 20 times. It's not your fault.
And then I gave him a big hug. Gave them a big long hug. Five minutes worth of hug, just to let him know we're on the same side here. We're going to get through this together.
And then we both came down with coronavirus the week after that. So, so, yeah. That was back in March. So I got the all clear and everything's been good ever since. And I'd do it all over again If I had to.
Because, you know, that's that's the thing we are going to get through all this stuff together and it's important, and it's, it's great, though, that we have these avenues to
to communicate to one another. And again, my name is mean Dave, I am not,
you know, any other name, if you want to call me by any other name, I would really rather you not. Just go by mean Dave because
I'm not Jesus. I'm not Charles Manson. I'm not Rasputin. I'm not the guitar player from Soundgarden or the bass player Metallica.
I'm not the actor Jimmy Smits with long hair and a beard. I'm not Osama Bin Laden's courier in the movie Zero Dark 30.
I'm not Mexican Russell Brand, Mexican almond brother, Mexican Rob Zombie. I'm not Mexican Steve Aoki whoever the hell that is. If I'm wearing a backwards hat, I am not a Mexican Silent Bob AKA Roberto De Silencio. I'm not Mexican lieutenant
Dan with, you know, with his legs because I'm an able bodied actor.
But if a woman's attractive and I assume possibly has lower standards than normal, I'll pretend to be Aqua Man but I think it's an insult to Jason Momoa, quite frankly, because you know he's...he's six foot sexy and I'm five foot everybody calls me homeless.
So,
if you're going to call me Aqua Man, technically I'm Dollar Store Aqua Man. And that is my time.
Nina, do I bring you back up here or do I introduce our next comedian? I bring, alright.
Your next comedian.
This dude.
He is again, you know, we got...
The coolest thing about this show that we put on for all that we get to do is we are, we truly are some of each other's favorite comedians. And this dude, I love this guy. All the way from Missoula, Montana. Give it up for Michael beers, everybody.
Michael: Hey everybody.
Welcome, let's keep it going from mean Dave.
My coolest cousin from Oakland. I've been growing my hair for two years since I met him, and this is as far as I've gotten. I was also keeping it long for Nina. In addition to being one of my favorite people in the world, a mentor, and then co-conspirator. The only person
in the world of 7 billion people that would ever write me a recommendation to be a bouncer, so thank you for that Nina.
And thank you zoom for expanding my hustle quite a bit. And I'm really happy to be at this college. I had no idea, which Nina had told me there was a zoo. Um, if there was a zoo where I had gone to college, I might not have dropped out. So, you live and you learn, right?
Happy day.
Yeah, happy day. I feel like in 2020, screw wishing people happy holidays. Let's just say happy today cuz, you know, next one's not guaranteed.
And I'm not one to bring up privilege a lot. I think it's an overused word. People weaponize it. Generally I'm much too tired as an advocate to be woke.
But I understand. I've done some work on my own. I continue to do work on recognizing my privilege.
My Bulldog.
Definitely is a being of privilege.
Because he doesn't care! He doesn't care that I'm in Southern California right now. Give us a show? All he wants is treats. And he is a bulldog, and he knows that he's too fucking cute for me to yell at him. Right. Isn't that right? Okay, so, you guys get to meet Frankie a little bit. I'm going to go get some treats, because this is how.
All right, here we go buddy. Get up there, get up there, get up there.
Yeah, he knows, yeah. He knows. Yeah. And if this isn't the best analogy for how we have to treat the fucking president of the United States, I don't know what is.
You'd think they'd be nicer to us. You'd think they care instead of whining all the goddamn time.
Alright.
So that was about five treats, which means we have about four minutes of quiet all to ourselves.
But again, in
2020 I realized how much privilege I don't have. Yeah I have Wiener privilege for sure. I think about that all the time, and someone pointed it out to me a few times. And you thank you for those that did that. But, If you have ever complained about wearing one of these,
allow me to point out the privileges that you have. You have all of them. Every single privilege. If this is the biggest thing that's stressing you out in your freakin life,
you have all the privileges. Oh my god. These are the people, the same people that told me for years to grow the fuck up
are complaining about wearing a mask to help other people. And I know there's an F word meter, and I think I'm like right here, so I'm going to kind of like draw it back a little bit, because honestly in 2020 I don't have that many fucks to give. So,
I'm gonna be honest. And I am. I'm so lucky to be able to come here from my living room and work so much with my friends Mean Dave,
and Nina G. And another round of applause, and love, and respect to ACCESS and all that you do. Um, I was, uh, yeah. I've been a part of College organizations on disability before and it's good work that you're doing.
The ADA is 30, the Americans with Disabilities Act, which is a reason to celebrate, but it's also a reason to check in with ADA.
Because I don't know how ADA is doing on their 30th. I stressed out a lot, because I was like, I want to be all these things! And I turned 30 and I was like, I haven't done any of that yet. And ADA you've done a ton.
You've done a ton for everybody. I know there's some things on your list that you haven't quite gotten to yet. It's not all your fault. And by things on your list that you haven't gotten to yet.
I see you, people with learning disabilities and mental health. Um, yeah, we haven't got there, we owe you quite a bit and we're going to work with the ADA to get there by the time they're 35.
So, and we need your help, we need to lead you to lead that way. So those of us with visible disabilities, we've gotten the attention for far too long. Not that we don't have things to do, but we need to include more people.
Alright, I'm going to add some jokes here in a second. I grew up in Montana. I remember one of my first memories growing up in Montana. I was about 10 years old and I was walking down the street with my mom. And this was one of those days, um,
that you don't want to go out and run errands with your parents. You just want to, you know, pick your nose and watch cartoons.
But I had to go because, you know, they have the keys and the cereal. So...
And I should point out, um, I, I was born with an
an hour hand. So it's very much a lot shorter than the average right hand. And then I was also born with the minute hand which is very much longer. One of my first jobs after I dropped out of college was being the world's first human clock.
Because I have the minute hand, and I have the hour hand, that's a privilege that I own. So I would stand in the park and keep time, tick, tick, tick, tick, *beep*. Um, I ended up getting fired for that job because I was late all the time.
But back to me being 10 years old. I'm walking down the street and I'm looking at ground. I'm pouting like you do. And I looked up at some point. And folksa I don't know why I looked up at this particular moment. But I'll tell you that when I did, I saw a sign
like a beacon of hope.
Said second hand store.
Yes, finally, a store that has what I need. So I ran in there, away from my mom and I went up to the guy on the counter and I said I want one. He looked at me and said, do you need a toaster? And I was like, no! I got toast. All I need from you is a second hand.
And he looked confused. So I spelled it out for him. I said, look, I have the first one.
All I'm looking to get from your store is the second one.
Do you have anything in a right that I can try on?
Then he laughed and threw me out the store.
And that's, you know, one of the first lessons I ever got in, you know, life isn't always about the truth.
One of my second lessons. Alright, we're going to say like 300'th lesson in life about life isn't always about telling the truth,
is going to history class. Now as people that are in college or, you know, in your living rooms
scrolling through Porn Hub and listening to us in the background. I know who you are, um, but don't worry we're about to finish.
We're about to finish too.
Going through my history class I was very disillusioned, because I grew up into this name, an adopted Native American.
Um, and the history that you learn in class is more "story" than "his". A lot of times I remember Columbus Day, the teacher would still try to pull this one off, point to the board and say Columbus was a hero and he discovered the New World.
I just got kicked out of class for laughing.
Because here's something we can all do as a thought experiment over zoom.
If there's someone there to greet you,
it's not new!
That'd be like me strolling into Walmart and going up to the guy in the blue vest and saying, and when he says, welcome, I look him straight in the eye and say no.
This is a brand new store. I just discovered it. Show me to your corn.
But yeah, so we don't always tell the truth in history. This year I did make some resolutions, I made some resolutions that are easy.
And we'll get to that in a second. Also made some resolutions which are
more of the the white side of my family, that's REX. That's like, you know, getting familiar with like losing weight or being healthier or, you know, starting to do yoga for a week.
Um, that one for me was to be like a stronger person, you know, physically. I really wanted to get on point with my balance. So I realized...
I go to a physical therapist, and they could help me learn how my body should do these exercises. And I wanted to go in there, and I wanted the training montage to begin in the cooler with the meat hanging, and I was just like this, you know. But no.
My physical therapist was like, okay Michael, try to stand on one foot.
And I was like "this is dumb. Where are the barbells? Where's the sweat? Where's the old guy on the bicycle yelling at me? This is what I want." And they're like, No. Just, just try lifting your arm and, you know, touching your nose.
And but I, you know, I'm brought into the process.
I said they're a doctor.
But then, and I actually started to work. These little tiny things I was doing was helping my balance. Um, but then I had this moment of clarity, like three weeks in, and I was like, shit.
My physical fitness goal
is to be able to pass the sobriety test, sober.
Like, that's my Russian. That's my Russian in the fourth one. That's the picture I put in the mirror as I train in the snow, is to be able to do that.
But I do want to say with my last couple minutes. Um, I want to say thank you to Frankie.
But I also want to...
I'm
Talk about something that happened to me very recently. And I think a lot of people can relate. And if you can't relate, maybe you can do something, or you can learn something about it.
I was walking down the street, the other day, and in front of a church, which I try to avoid, not for my sake, but for theirs.
But as soon as I was walking by, somebody came out from the little garden area in the church. And they
appeared to be some kind of clergy. I don't know what denomination. But they stopped what they were doing in the garden,
and they came up to me. They were both wearing masks, which was, which was great. Um, but he came up to me and six feet away from me and he's like, I wish I could give you a hug.
And I was like, cool. I wish I could hug anybody right now. And he said, but I want you to know,
and he pointed to my hour hand,
that there's a special place in heaven
for people like you.
Now I know some people in the chat and certainly some of the other comedians have experienced this before.
He is not a villain that we know of. He's clergy, so there's always a suspicion. But everything in his life told him what he did was appropriate and normal. That doesn't mean it wasn't annoying to me.
On a couple levels. One, you stopped me and made me late for my meeting. Two, you're going to stand six feet away from me and expect me to find comfort in the fact that there's a special place there too?
After I had to go to that classroom as a kid? I had to ride that school bus? I spent my life advocating for equity for people with disabilities and you're fucking telling me that when I die,
I have to advocate for an elevator, because everybody else gets to take the stairway to heaven.
Darn it!
The work never finishes, and I want to say how much I love ACCESS and everybody that joined for doing that work every single day, whether you can get credit for it or not. We are making a difference. Good luck out there.
Peace.
Nina: Thank you, Michael. Everyone give it up for Michael.
And for Dave. And for me. And for ACCESS. And for the improv group and Silva, everybody. So thank you everybody. Now we are going to open it up for some Q and A,
and I think the first Q and A has to be, um, we have to hear from Dave about what he thinks about the ability to change his background and what his thoughts are about that. Dave.
Mean Dave: Fine. I normally don't change them up this much, but I'm really just doing it for Suzanne.
She knows the Madonna Inn, Nina. You see that? She recognized it right away. This is
Nina: I bet she has been to the men's...
urinal there. Because every woman has to see the waterfall...
Mean Dave: Right. That's right. I forgot about that.
Nina: urinal. That is, every single old Italian woman in my family has gone to see it. It's like a shrine. It's one of the best things in California. Anyway, I'm sorry Dave, go.
Mean Dave: Oh no no. Like I said this was Nina's wedding and this is her bridesmaids, and yes I'm one of the bridesmaids. She specifically said if I was changing all these to put it up so.
Yeah. But yeah, no, it's just one of those things I get, again, I just don't like looking at the blank walls on my, on my room and it's just it's a lot better than my pillows over there, you know, as I sit here on my bed. So yeah. It's great.
Nina: Yeah! And people loved them. So that was great to have a visual and auditory an thing going on. I hope all of the teachers in the crowd learned that it's important to to engage the ear and the eye.
Mean Dave: Not all of us
Nina: Just something to bring to the Classroom.
Mean Dave: Not all of us were working together in tandem as a team with a very talented dog like some other people.
Michael: I don't know why people say that they're hard to work with in Hollywood.
Mean Dave: My god.
Frankie
Frankie just owned it there for a second.
Michael: I know he's gonna be real hard to live with now.
Mean Dave: Yeah, no kidding
Michael: Not that he was easy before.
Nina: Okay, so audience please ask us questions. Um, and let's first start with a question to Dave, Mike, and myself, and I'll answer it to. Why did you get into comedy, and do you want to share anything about how you started?
Mean Dave: Why did I get into comedy? Would you hire me?
Yeah, that's, I think that's pretty much point cut and dry. I mean, I've...bottom line, this wasn't a dream, it's resolving the nightmare of all my cool bands breaking up. I played in bands for 20 years. Where else would I get such a drug problem?
But, but I've always loved stand up comedy. it's been a big part of my upbringing. My parents practically raised me on stand up comedy.
I've always had favorite comedians growing up. But then when I got older and realized I hated all my jobs. Music was not going to be a full time career or anything.
I had a band that had a comedic thread and I decided maybe if I started doing stand up comedy, I could help promote the band.
And then my drummer quit. So I was stuck with stand up comedy and I basically kind of got into comedy the way Happy Gilmore figured out that he wasn't a hockey player. That he was a
golfer. That's my journey into stand up comedy. It was reluctant journey, but once I got here...
This is, you know, I got into it and I stuck with it because I saw comedians that sucked make a living at it. So I figured at least I can be better than them, maybe, and make a little money.
And then as I got into it and then I got in recovery I credit comedy with getting me into recovery, because I wanted to be a better comedian. Drugs and alcohol were a problem. So, and then recovery is my number one priority. So I thank comedy for helping me
find a better life. And then because of that, yeah I make a living as a comedian, which is the best job I've ever had. So, yeah.
Nina: All right, and Michael, how about you?
Michael: Um, I, because I had nowhere else to go. Um, no, I got into comedy my senior year in high school.
It was actually a
a suggestion my drama teacher gave me two years earlier. Said that I wasn't very good at acting, but I had really good timing. So.
And something about that little interaction from my teacher in the hallway stuck in my head. And when I had to do a senior project two years later,
I picked stand up comedy just based on what that teacher had said. So a lot of credit to Mr Rothwell. Rest in peace.
And then I stuck with it. I did my first 20 minutes in May of my senior year and
it was the first time I felt like me.
100% and for somebody with a disability, we...
Part of our culture is trying to be other people. And spending a lot of time in that effort. But I feel 100% like myself. So I said, I gotta, I gotta respect this and give it its due.
And now I get to perform for you guys.
With these two, which is an honor.
Nina: It's always been an honor to work with you guys, as much as that sounded
like a sarcastic kind of thing.
Um,
But, you know, um, what I do miss is having Mike here because he'd stay at my place and then
Dave and Mike I drive with them to shows in the Bay Area, and it was wonderful for them both to pick on me at the same time in the same way.
So that is something I miss I miss *Jumbled audio*. Michael: I miss the most comfortable couch in the world and the cleanest car I've ever seen.
Nina: He's lying on both of those things. Mean Dave: Oh, look at that.
Michael: I'm only lying about one of those Nina.
Mean Dave: Yeah, the couch is comfortable.
Nina: So many comedians have
been on my couch.
Nina: I sound like a therapist to the comics. Um, so, okay, so the way that I started in comedy, which is actually all in this book. Stutter interrupted, the comedian who almost
didn't happen, was that when I was a kid, I was like...
I was like 12 years old. I decided I wanted to be a comic. I loved it. And much like Dave, and this is where me, Dave, and Mike, we all truly love stand up comedy. And there's a lot of comics who don't. And we don't respect them as much, so.
I really appreciate the love that these two guys have, because it's like mine, and I, you know, it's the first letters that I wrote like the fan letters
were to stand up comics and they were the ones who I had pictures of in my room.
And I wanted to become a comic. But because of my stutter, I didn't think that would ever be possible.
So the dream died. It got picked back up after I went to a conference for people who stutter and I kind of saw how I was interrupting myself. As a person who stutters we're interrupted all the time.
But what I found was that I was interrupting myself. And interrupting myself, both in conversations because I felt guilty about having the other person sit through my speech,
and also in terms of my wants, my desires, my dreams. And so I came back from that conference, made some changes in my life,
and within six months, I started doing stand up. And it's been 11 years this coming March. So, um, so that's how I started. And disability was a big part of what held me back, but then also what
the acceptance and celebration of it was the thing that got me back in. And reframing is a really important thing, so, a little bit about that. Do you guys want to add anything? While I look at the...Yes, Dave.
Mean Dave: Before we go further, I wanted to also give a round of applause and credit to the improv performers that performed before us.
Mainly the ones who stuck around to the end of the show, because normally stand-up comedians, there's always an adversarial line between stand up comedy and improv. So I just want to say that adversarial relationship still upholds for anybody who left early.
But the ones that stuck around, you guys are cool.
Michael: It's funny, I was late showing up to this because I was in an improv class.
Nina: The irony. Michael: True story.
Yeah.
Nina: So Dave, maybe you can help me with a little bit in the chat. I know someone asked me how it feels to have a president who stutters and a governor who has dyslexia. I assume that was to me and not to Dave.
I don't know *cut off*
Mean Dave: I just wanted to say goodbye to Suzanne though cuz she's, she's got to take off. Nina: Is she going?
Mchael: Yeah, I think she said she had to take off.
She's been loving the backgrounds the most, so yeah.
Yeah, I love having. I mean, I haven't even I, I'll be perfectly honest, I haven't noticed his stutter. It's been stuff more that's been in the news. And I'm hoping that,
you know, I think the best thing about it was that one that kid that got in the news, who you, I mean I'm I didn't watch the kid speak but I heard about it, and his message was one of inclusion and
letting stutters stutter. I mean, that's
the bottom line. That's the message that's one of the things that I think it's everybody's still...and that goes across the board for, you know, any and all this. It's okay to have a disability. Having a disability is
something to totally be embracive of and learn and yeah just, you know, treat with patience and kindness and all that so.
Nina: Yeah, and you know, actually, Dave, that leads into something about being an ally. And you guys have both been my
allies at times. And maybe you guys can talk a little bit about that. And Dave, I was thinking the other day, you probably know where I'm going
with this, there was a comic who did a joke, a joke like like this is a joke I've heard ever since Hip Hop came out. And Dave, do you want to say about how you were in...how you were an ally in that moment.
Mean Dave: I'm gonna be honest, I don't know what time you're talking about. Was that Monday or Tuesday? I don't know. What uh I don't remember things Nina. It's part of the drawback of being...you know,
having a burnt out brain.
Nina: Okay, there was a guy who said...see and this is exactly the kind of ally that you want to be. You just do it and you forget about it.
It's not about you.
Michael: Zero ego. I
Mean
Not the proud boys versions. No, I'm sorry about that.
Nina: Yeah, exactly. The zero.
There was a comic, the other night
who said, Oh, I got a son and he kind of stutters I just was like, Oh, son. And this was like after I went up. I didn't really even do stuttering jokes. I stuttered a lot. So there was that because it's that
time of the month, and that time of the month I stutter more. Um, and so he was like, oh yeah, I tell my son he could be a DJ
DJ because he just *record scratch imitation* just like a scratch. And not a great joke, not an original joke, the guy said it...and he doesn't know me, like Dave and Mike can make
fun of me all day long. First of all, they're funny so if you make fun of me you better be funny. And you also better have some love in between us. And this guy, he doesn't know me. Um, and then, and then I said something and then Dave made fun of him during his set almost the entire time.
Mean Dave: When was that specifically? I'm trying to remember this, this moment of heroism, that I did. You can tell me later. You don't need to tell it in front of everybody who's left here, but.
Now, I'm like, I'm curious what I did too, man.
Nina: You were just like, this is how you make fun of a person.
Mean Dave: Oh, that!
Nina: And so you were educating him.
Mean Dave: Huh. No, I was. Oh, that guy. I didn't even hear his
his horrible joke about you, my bad.
I was just making a... Nina: And also, you put up a background to get him off the stage as soon as he said it.
Mean Dave: That's right.
Yeah, he was going on and on.
He was, yeah.
Mean Dave: He was rambling. He wasn't a comic. He was a guy that was new who was trying. I mean, yeah, I don't know. It's one of the things. He's a guy who's doing a new zoom open mic. And so we got a lot of patience for that too. We probably have less patience for
that than we do for just an average person who's, who's doesn't realize when they're being inappropriate. But yeah, so.
Nina: Okay. Other questions. Keep up the activism and standing up. Dave do you see other questions that I might have missed? Or are there other questions from any of our panelists?
Mean Dave: Compliments to the dog. Oh, Francis Wilbert or Wilbert Francis said what instrument. I played drums, bass and guitar and I used to be able to sing.
I yelled more than I sang, but yelled in the proper, you know, kind of tone and whatever. And I could actually sing at one time. Now my voice is kind of shot. My voice has gotten real deep and
I wouldn't, you know, I could probably I could do it again. But it's been years. Last time I played a live gig was in 2012 and, like music, but...
Nina: But, you like that throat thing right like
Mean Dave: Oh, throat singing. *Deep throat singing*
Mean Dave: It's tuvan throat singing I can always do that, so. And the deeper my voice is the better it is, so. Questions for all three of us. Do you guys have a dream place to perform stand up?
I'll answer that. No
I don't have a dream place. I've performed at some real places.
I've been my, I'm a past comic at my favorite club which is San Francisco punch line.
And I've, you know, and once I did that, I don't know. I should have more dreams and goals, but now I just like to pay my bills and
I don't like the comedy store, I don't care about New York, and I just love performing at various gigs.
My favorite gigs have always been hole in the wall gigs. One of my favorite gigs this past year was performing to five people in a town called Sonora, which is like this hole in the wall town
on the way to Yosemite. We did an outdoor show out there and two of the audience members were
a...I want to say a freshman and a fifth grader. They were sisters and I basically got to crowd work with them and talk to them for about a half hour, and it just entertained everybody and had a great time. So it's those are those are the times that it's a dream, so. Just one of those things.
Nina: What about you, Mike?
You're on mute, Mike. You muted yourself because the dog barked. And now,
Michael: Thank you. Nina, you know me too well. A stage would be my dream place to perform. But I think a more interesting question would be what is the wildest place you two have performed?
Mean Dave: Oh, good question.
Michael: Yeah.
just like, unexpectedly. Mine was a sex dungeon, a sex club in Richmond, Virginia. They had an open mic one night a week. The rest of the calendar was a little more kinky but...
And I didn't realize it until I got in there. I was walking in and it was really dark, and they had like ropes and like saddles on the wall and ignorant little Montana boy here thought it was like a Western bar.
But yeah, it was a great open mic actually.
Mean Dave: You know what's weird?. Every time I get asked that I forget them.
I mean, because we do perform in so many...Oh I know one. Here's one that's right off the bat, and it'll tie into my backgrounds. And actually it's a good tribute to a friend of ours who...we actually had a friend who
passed away today from the comedy world. His name is Albert LEA and he was a comedian who was a pro from the 80s and
and then we got to know him in the last few years. He was disabled as well. Um, he had some health issues. He was confined to a wheelchair. But he had a great spirit and a great
attitude and he used to book a show in his convalescent home, I think it's called,
In Richmond, where he lived at. So you as you can see there's elderly people, disabled people here, and we would perform to them and it was a very interesting gig, because he couldn't tell if you were doing well or not.
And so the best way to tell us if you're making the staff laugh, and they didn't really have the best senses of humor.
But these ladies right here, I mean, we...It was a great show, because it felt like, I mean, we weren't paid for it, except in snacks, and we basically got to go and try our material in a place that,
you know, some people definitely could tell, who we could tell were enjoying the show. And then I kind of got banned from it, too.
All because of a guy who misunderstood a joke, who we thought was in a wheelchair and then learned he could walk because he actually stood up out of his wheelchair and confronted me about a joke I was telling.
And I wasn't about to keep going with the joke so I just apologized because I didn't want to ruin the show. So yeah, and it wasn't a bad joke, either. It was just a story and a detail he didn't like so. Yeah. Can't argue with that.
Michael: Yeah, well I can attest, one of my disabilities was cured the first time I heard you talk, Dave.
Mean Dave: Oh really, that's *laughing*.
Michael: So you can take that snake oil on the road.
Before Nina. I want to hear your weirdest spot. I did notice a question that asked
under non-covid circumstances if we travel, and would travel. And absolutely.
That's one of the nicer parts of the job is getting to go to places you wouldn't have otherwise. So. Absolutely.
Nina: Yeah.
And we've been...in between Dave, I, and Mike, whether it's with one or with both, we've been up and down California, Oregon,
Minnesota. So we have been all over the place and hope to get back to that at some point. So, yes.
Mean Dave: Yeah, that'd be awesome. That was the thing that was the coolest a year ago, we got to go to Minneapolis in the middle of winter.
And first thing, and I would do this all over again, but the first thing we do when we get there is Nina's hungry and decides that a place is only a mile away and we can walk there. And it was 1.2, 1.3 miles through
the snow that was coming down. And we got to cross the Mississippi River to get there in the wind as it was hitting our faces. And if I had a picture I could show you exactly just how much....
Nina: You do have a picture, you do because...
Mean Dave: I don't have it yet.
I don't have it set up to show you. Just know that I let her know that we should have just, you know, Lifted or Ubered there
the entire way
Nina: And he hasn't let me un-know that ever since.
Michael: Rumor has it it was uphill both ways, too.
Mean Dave: Oh, important question here Nina from Stephen Turner, how do we book you guys in the future? Just contact any of us really. *All talking*
Michael: You contact Nina.
Mean Dave: You contact Nina. Nina: Contact me. Here, I will put my website up again. Now I want to say the weirdest thing that I ever performed in, and Dave was there that night and the video is online.
Okay, so I get up on stage and the stage really isn't a stage. It's just a microphone and it's at this very small the dive bar near us and...
And first of all, someone wobbles in and they come up to me and they asked me for change. And I'm like, I'm performing.
It was hard to know if I was the comic or just someone else. So he went to a chair.
And then as that happened a fight broke out.
And then the cops were called. And then as soon as the cops got there, the guy ran to the back to flush drugs down the
toilet, I assume.
Mean Dave: *Indistinguishable*
The cops are going back and forth.
Nina: And I keep on going. I'm just going and doing my dirtiest stuff like just dick jokes all around because that's what you have to do in a situation like that. The cop sits down and he
listens to my act. He was like the older guy and the younger ones were
taking care of it. And he asked me if I had any cop, jokes I didn't. Now have to write some in case that ever happens again. Then the guy gets arrested right in front of the so called stage, yells as he goes out, and I did another five
minutes and it was one of my proudest
moments. And the way that I look at it is as a person who stutters I've been interrupted all my life so I will just keep on going.
Mean Dave: You handled it!
She handled it like a champ. I was there the entire time. There's a video on YouTube, of the entire affair.
If you look it up on Nina's YouTube channel.
It's, it's pretty incredible. And she handled it like a champ. So
Michael: Gotta watch that later. Yeah
Nina: That sounds creepy but okay.
All right, other questions, anything from Silva? Anything from the improv group who can actually talk because you have a thing? Okay. Another question here. Oh, great.
Thank you. Yes!
Aubrey: Yeah, I just wanted to say, you guys, all three of you were amazing. And I'm so glad also that our improv students get to watch professionals do this work.
And what do you have, do you have any advice for young students or other students at Moorpark college or folks who are interested in comedy and improv. What can they do? Where can they start? Any advice that you would give to students.
Mean Dave: Anywhere. Just anywhere. Just keep doing what they're doing. I mean, you guys all...the thing is when I was watching you guys all really were in sync and performed very well together.
It's not a competition. You guys were all working together, but your boy Ethan there was cracking me up. He had a few lines in there that really
had me laughing, So. But yeah, just keep at it and and try to set goals and try to improve on them. That's really set realistic goals
that you can achieve, because that's the only thing that kept me going was really just realizing that I could...because my goals were very, very low. I kept things really...I never planned on
being passed at a club like The Punch Line and definitely people who knew me would never have guessed that I would ever be one.
And then I just got, I just, you know, set goals, improve. And the fact is to I keep a circle of people that are
realistic with me. Nina's one of them. Michael's definitely one of them.
But people that are like, because it's hard to-it's, you know, you're getting into comedy and it's like going back to junior high, as an adult.
And and you can get very lost in sort of friendships that may not be friendship. So it's important to have friends that you're able to be honest with
Mean Dave: and get honest feedback from, so.
Michael: All right and two quick pieces of advice if you're thinking about doing stand up comedy. Do it.
Don't wait until you think you're ready because if you wait until you think you're ready, you're never gonna do it.
I know we're all approached after every gig, be like, I've always thought about doing it! You've just got to do it. And then the second bit of advice,
And one that's really helped me a lot because I'm incredibly awkward if I'm not in front of a lot of people like, one on one. Um, if you want to do stand up have an improv
base. Take a class. Because you can be the best writer in the world, but if you don't know how to think quick, and when things don't go the way you want,
you're never going to get as far as if you do, so. Make friends with improv.
Aubrey: Come take improv at Moorpark.
Michael: Yeah, Moorpark. Absolutely. And there's no geographical limitations. You guys can do it online. Aubrey: Yeah, exactly. Awesome. Michael: And thank you for what you do. Nina G: Yeah. Thank you. Aubrey: Thank you all.
Nina: I think the one advice that I would also give is as a woman, you are out numbered, and to think about some of the safety things if you do want to do stand up and that's why I have great people like this that I go...
Mean Dave: Get a taser!
Nina: What's that!? Michael: Get a taser!
Nina: A taser is always good. If the audience doesn't laugh, you can
threaten them. Um, so, you know, all that stuff is really important and also to like you don't-everybody has a different path. I'm not on the comedy club path. I've created my own and I'm much happier doing college gigs than I am in a nightclub. Um, and so I'm totally fine with that.
Mean Dave: Yeah, nightclubs are overrated. I've already learned that. So it's, I mean I once I did it. I'm like, all right, enough of this. This place sucks.
Michael: One more bit of advice, because everybody wants to say the dirtiest thing they can think of and pass it off as funny.
We're not going to censor anything you want to come and create, but if you're going to be this offensive, you got to be this funny. Don't bring it if you're going to be this offensive, and this funny.
Mean Dave: Fucking A. Right, that's...
Michael: That's one reason why there are too many assholes in standup comedy.
Nina: Yes.
Mean Dave: I'm going to jump out of here. A friend of mines waiting outside to go go grab some quick dinner, real quick.
Silva: Thank you everybody
Mean Dave: Thank you very much.
Silva: The background's scrolling.
Nina: Yeah.
Yeah, it's my computer. It has exceeded all of its
memory. So I'm not able to get any of that, so sorry.
Silva: That's okay, everybody kind of brought their own element.
Nina G: Yeah.
Silva: As you are performing and then as you were doing the Q and A. I just want you to know I was getting a lot of feedback.
Not just on the chat, but lots of text messages were coming through, and people were just so happy that the three of you made it tonight.
People also really loved seeing the students perform. And I want to thank you because as Bonnie lawyer mentioned earlier, it was that really good balance of
educational but with entertainment. And more than anything right now I think we needed to laugh a little bit
and you provided that tonight. But you also provided, you know, a lot of students who are watching and wanting to go into comedy.
Or students who are watching, or people who are watching and seeing that various disabilities could also be the reason you go into something and, you know, kind of your strength at times, that was really great to see as well.
Um, yeah.
Nina: Thank you. And I think that, you know, part of comedy which is so great,
especially comedy now, is that you can filter your experiences in a way that is authentic to you and your voice comes out. And it takes a long time to develop your voice, especially as a
young person. And also I think that
like you, you should study as much as you can, whether it's comedy, whether it's the theater, whether it's politics, whether its history.
Because all of that is the content that goes into your act. And today, like the ADA joke is the exact quote from the ADA. I just put
asshole in it. And when somebody works in the ACCESS office they're like, Oh surprise! That is the actual thing, and she put asshole there. And so, you know, it's like the more that you learn, the more that you can integrate in, and I think the best comics are well
rounded and smart. And you get people like Eddie Murphy, who is able to merge all of that and is considered one of the best is to stand up comics ever. Short lived, but still great. So those are the kinds of things to be
considering.
Silva: That's a really good point. I hadn't really thought of that. You need to have relevant material. Yeah.
Well, thank you, everybody. I know you have another show to get to. So I'm going to respect the rest of your time. I know everyone enjoyed the show. So thank you all for attending too. Thank you to the audience. And you all have a wonderful night.
And bye everybody. Aubrey: Thanks for organizing, Silva!
Michael: Good luck out there.
Aubrey: Bye.
Nina: Thank you, everyone. Bye.